I’m not alone

With 7 billion plus humans on this planet, of course I’m not alone. Sometimes I feel alone, but not always. Also, before you freak out and call a shrink on me, I’m not depressed, I’m just frustrated. What, prey tell, am I frustrated about? The ending of my second book!

Here is the thing, I know how it’s going to end. I can see the scene in my head. (That’s my method of writing, I picture the scene like a movie and write what I see in my head.) I know that bad things are going to happen to characters. I know that dragons are going to be involved (Remember, dragons are cool.) I know that someone is going to be absent of their head by the end of it.

I know all of this but the words are struggling to find their way out of my head into this computer.

I know there us a lot of talk about aliens lately. (Just stick with me here.) I know that I don’t have a flying car, yet. (I’m equating aliens with flying cars.) What would be awesome if aliens could show us, Earthlings, how to take the pictures in our heads and put it in Word format, Times New Roman, 12 font, double spaced and in your computer. Brilliant! That’s the kind of technology that I need right now! Pull this last scene out of my noggin and let this book be finished! (Lots of -> !’s today)

But, I digress, that technology does not exist and I have to put these stupid words in this stupid computer to finish this stupid book! ( I really don’t think this book is stupid. I actually really enjoy this book except for this last part!)

Pity party of one, calling Mr. JW Berwyn, pity party of one.

Yes, I’m whining..

So, the question is how do I break this cycle of mind lock that I find myself in?

My go to blogs are: Jamie Aughenbaugh’s, my editor’s blog, RE:Written – What’s Your Story? (rewrittenllc.com) and Catherine Forrest’s blog Shelf Life (substack.com) . So why these two blogs? Well for one, Jamie is my editor and I want to support her. But also, she has a lot of years in the literary industry and she is very knowledgeable about things like this. Catherine, I just met during a web seminar about dialogue, but prior to that, I started to read her blog. I read these blogs for great advise about the literary world, now to break out of stuff like with writing prompts and blogs about the same struggles that I am going through.

Have I mentioned that I do have adult ADHD and the attention span of an excited Huskey. (I owned a Huskey dog and every owner of a Huskey knows exactly what I’m talking about.) Just wanted to throw that out there. Also, cell phones are the WORST thing to have around when your in a funk like this. Seriously, how many games to procrastination solitaire can I play in a day. Add the games, all the anime and manga sites, plus Twitter and the other social media sites, and I’m so F-ed.

I will say this: Writing about this mind lock is having a positive effect on me. I think that once you get your mind rolling, it may stop, but you have to push through to start it all over again. Writing, unlike what most people think, is a very taxing form of mental exercise.

To write, to be a writer, one may go through many episodes of mind lock, writer’s block, or whatever else you want to call it. The trick is tricking your mind to get past the mind lock and out into open water again. ( I know that I’m throwing a lot of mental images at you all without the proper set up for them, or not. I don’t know, I’m just freestyling it a little here.)

I am just writing now to write. I am writing now to help open my mind so it will accept the movie in my head and help me put it in the computer. I am writing now to push this is mind lock. I am writing now to make myself feel better and not be so god damn frustrated with this whole thing. I am writing now because I love writing.

I am just writing now.

Thank you all,

J.W. Berwyn

Also, check out these two fabulous blogs:

Jamie Aughenbaugh’s RE:Written – What’s Your Story? (rewrittenllc.com)

Catherine Forrest’s Shelf Life Shelf Life (substack.com)

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